When I was asked to write an article relating to our kids and the lessons I’ve learnt from raising them, my husband laughed saying, we havent even reached the ‘a’ in raising…and that’s true because we’re just at the very beginning of this thing called parenting, as our baby boys are just 2 years old.
A few months ago, we were at the grocery store with the boys. We were at the fruit and veg section, my husband a few aisles away. I had both boys in the trolley, and a lady appoached me asking, “How are you coping?” and at first I didn’t register…and she went on quickly to explain, “with the twins I mean…I too have twins.” And we stood together for sometime sharing ‘war stories’ bandaging each other’s wounds. Both of us were first time Mothers, and if that in itself isn’t challeging enough, first time Mothers of two. Needles to say we exchanged numbers and are good friends since, calling on each other every now and then. As my husband and I walked off, I asked him, “Did you see her eyes? shame, it was blood shot red”…Then we quickly turned to each other and said, “we probabaly look like that!” It’s easy to spot new parents, isn’t it? One look in their blood shot, sleep deprived eyes, you can immediately see the physical toll a little infant is taking on them, now mutiply that by 2. We’re litterally Zombies walking the streets, our lives completely changed, the main focus now being – keeping these babies alive! We are now responsible for these beautiful little lives God entrusted to us – what a HUGE responsibility. As you see their growth, you just see God!
Along the journey you become selfless, giving all you have to protect, nuture and provide for your babies. At these early stages, they are completely dependent on you, I believe God expects the same sort of dependency from us, a kind of dependency that’s fully trusting. Prov 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.”
There’s a love between you and your child that is unmatched, you’re ever-loving – even if they behave badly. Reminds me of God’s love for us, He is an ever-loving God – he loves us for ever, the type of love spoken about in 1 Corinthians 13: 7 Love never gives up on us, never loses faith in us, is always hopeful, and edures through every circumstance.
There are a lot of lessons one learns along the way, I’ve learnt to be patient and understanding, and most of all to be present because moments pass by so quickly. I’ve learnt that I have to walk uprightly because I have little beings watching me. What I do and say, and how I act has a direct impact on them. What I speak over them, either builds them or breaks them, and ultimately shapes them, so it’s important for me to speak life over them. I’ve learnt that the saying is true, I can’t prepare the path for the child, but I have to prepare the child for the path. The path is not always straight, but bends, is not always smooth, it can be rocky too, and there can be plenty of obstacles in the way. I can’t always clear the path and remove those obstacles, they have to conquer them on their own, and that’s a part of the growing process – for both the parent and the child.
What we can do for our kids, is point them in the right direction, point them towards Christ. The Bible says in Pslams 127: 4 “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.” A skilled Archer would instruct that an arrow must be carefully crafted, well balanced, and straight. The target must be in clear sight, the proper tension on the string must be applied, making constant adjustments for wind and distance, and at the right moment, the arrow must be properly released to fly. If we pull too tightly, our children may just soar past the target, and miss the mark, and vice versa, if we pull too loosely, they might fail to fly at all. May God mold us and shape us into the parents they need. We need God’s guidance and direction in raising them, training them in line with the principles laid out in His word. We can just hope, pray and trust that we shoot them in the right direction, and that they reach the target, that they come to know God in His fullness, and become all that God intended them to be. He’s word promises us and gives us assurance that if we train them in the way they should go, they will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)
By Eulalia Vaughan